As ever, a really illuminating piece. I strongly relate to all of it. I vividly remember lying on the sofa, on a Sunday and it was “she’s so lazy!” Rest was completely earned but the rules and goal posts shifted considerably, depending on who you were in the household (the boys and men in my house did nothing, the girls and the women did it all, and also went to work and raised the children).
I’m still working on the kindness and compassion— it’s all in a days work! Some days I remember to be more caring towards myself but other days, it’s the same old broken record. Especially when our society tells us that if we’re not busy or available and ON, then we aren’t being productive.
Not that rest needs justification or working for….and, even if that slowness is brought about by sickness, death, Matrescence, care giving, the list is endless!! Capitalism is a complete scam because it wants us to adopt a scarcity mindset. Even if we give our all, it’s never enough.
Although burn out, exhaustion and chronic illness are a tall price to pay, I’m so glad in a way that I am unwell, as I don’t get the choice anymore. Exertion will literally lead me to be bedridden….and I don’t want that for myself or for my children to have that as their example. But yeh, I’m sure there’s so people who think my fibro and CFS (much like how depression was viewed 20 years ago) is something you just to push through.
Honestly, it makes you laugh how far behind we are….I am so glad for people like yourself leading the way and saying, there’s another choice.
Ugh, I *so* relate Louise. I absolutely get the broken record days too thanks to all the societal messaging - the kindness piece is definitely an ongoing practise. It sounds like you’re cultivating a wonderful environment and example for your kids - go you! Thank you for being here, reading and sharing - I so appreciate it.
Rather than the word lazy for me it's been ones like 'skiver' 'self indulgent' 'frivolous'. All coming from that same messaging and learning to tie our value to achievement and production.
I'm also on a similar unlearning journey to yourself. It's been so challenging but so worth it.
Today I'm literally just sat writing, journaling, reading, making but from a playful place rather than an 'I must produce and not waste my day' place. (I also haven't washed yet 😂) Even though I'm tired and depleted, this feels like me being compassionate and going with my whims. Free of guilt. Well free-er at least.
As ever, a really illuminating piece. I strongly relate to all of it. I vividly remember lying on the sofa, on a Sunday and it was “she’s so lazy!” Rest was completely earned but the rules and goal posts shifted considerably, depending on who you were in the household (the boys and men in my house did nothing, the girls and the women did it all, and also went to work and raised the children).
I’m still working on the kindness and compassion— it’s all in a days work! Some days I remember to be more caring towards myself but other days, it’s the same old broken record. Especially when our society tells us that if we’re not busy or available and ON, then we aren’t being productive.
Not that rest needs justification or working for….and, even if that slowness is brought about by sickness, death, Matrescence, care giving, the list is endless!! Capitalism is a complete scam because it wants us to adopt a scarcity mindset. Even if we give our all, it’s never enough.
Although burn out, exhaustion and chronic illness are a tall price to pay, I’m so glad in a way that I am unwell, as I don’t get the choice anymore. Exertion will literally lead me to be bedridden….and I don’t want that for myself or for my children to have that as their example. But yeh, I’m sure there’s so people who think my fibro and CFS (much like how depression was viewed 20 years ago) is something you just to push through.
Honestly, it makes you laugh how far behind we are….I am so glad for people like yourself leading the way and saying, there’s another choice.
Ugh, I *so* relate Louise. I absolutely get the broken record days too thanks to all the societal messaging - the kindness piece is definitely an ongoing practise. It sounds like you’re cultivating a wonderful environment and example for your kids - go you! Thank you for being here, reading and sharing - I so appreciate it.
This is beautiful, compassion does more than shame ever could.
feel so seen by this !! thank you for sharing ❤️🩹
You're so welcome, Ciska. Thanks for letting me know x
I relate so much & thank you deeply for this loving post. xxx
I'm so glad to hear it resonates ❤️
I relate relate relate!
Rather than the word lazy for me it's been ones like 'skiver' 'self indulgent' 'frivolous'. All coming from that same messaging and learning to tie our value to achievement and production.
I'm also on a similar unlearning journey to yourself. It's been so challenging but so worth it.
Today I'm literally just sat writing, journaling, reading, making but from a playful place rather than an 'I must produce and not waste my day' place. (I also haven't washed yet 😂) Even though I'm tired and depleted, this feels like me being compassionate and going with my whims. Free of guilt. Well free-er at least.
Thank you for sharing this, Sophie.